Powerball
by mitsukai
Summary: On a dare from Chouji, Shikamaru wins the lottery. Suddenly, everyone in Konoha is out for a piece of his pie, and they're willing to use any means necessary. Troublesome, indeed. One-shot silliness.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Naruto_, its characters, or any of its plot points.

**Word Count: **5,624

* * *

><p>Shikamaru stared blankly at the television screen for a few moments before looking back at the slip of paper in his hand. Frowning deeply, he set the slip aside and pulled out a note from his desk, glancing up at the television once more to copy down the numbers displayed in garish yellow across the screen.<p>

_4 5 15 23 46_

Scowl deepening, he picked up the slip of paper and his note and trudged into the other room, where his father had reclined on a sofa.

"Hey, Dad, can you check something out for me?"

Shikaku opened his eyes slowly, one at a time, to see his son with an uncharacteristically grim expression. "What is it, son?"

Wordlessly, Shikamaru handed the two pieces of paper to his father. Shikaku took a moment to read the text, brow furrowing. "What is this?" he asked again.

"Troublesome," muttered the younger Nara. "The numbers. Are they the same?"

"Four, five, fifteen, twenty-three, forty-six," he read off the first before turning to the note Shikamaru had jotted down just moments before. "Four, five… Yeah, exactly the same."

"Congrats, Dad. You're looking at the winner of the Konoha Lottery." His voice was absolutely devoid of any enthusiasm.

Shikaku's scowl grew to match his son's. Not bothering to temper his words, he said, "This is going to be troublesome for you."

"Well, shit."

* * *

><p>Although his father had strongly advised against informing anyone of his recent fortune, Shikamaru could not help but tell Chouji. The man, after all, was his best friend, as well as the entire reason for his possession of the lottery ticket.<p>

(Chouji had challenged Shikamaru to for once partake in something completely outside of his control—throw caution to the wind, if you will. Although the Akimichi heir had hoped his friend would participate in something extreme like blind dating or cave diving, he was sorely disappointed when Shikamaru simply stepped into the nearest convenience store and purchased the lottery ticket for ten ryo.)

"You're kidding me!" exclaimed Chouji over lunch, causing his best friend to throw a sharp glare in his direction. Assuming a hushed tone, he added, "You've got to be joking."

"I wish," Shikamaru scoffed, lazily gesturing to a waiter for more sake. "But the numbers are there, clear as day." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can't tell anyone."

Chouji forced a somber expression, though his friend could easily detect the utter glee brimming beneath his feigned serious exterior. "Not a word, not a soul," he promised nonetheless. Letting the solemnity slide from his face, Chouji asked, "So what are you going to do with the winnings?"

Shikamaru leaned back in his seat, folding his hands behind his head and nodding to the waiter who, to his good fortune, arrived to serve them more alcohol. "I'm not sure," he admitted quietly, pouring himself a new cup of sake before sipping at it. He made a face—he had not yet attained his father's tolerance for the stuff.

"Is Temari in town? You could take her on a nice date for once," Chouji suggested casually before stuffing some barbecued beef into his mouth.

"She isn't, and shut up."

Following the end of the whole Fourth Shinobi World War fiasco, Shikamaru and Temari had at last acted on their rampant sexual tension and embarked on a relationship. Albeit very low-key and low-demand due to work commitments and sheer distance, the two made sure to stop by and say "hello" whenever one of them visited the other's village. Occasionally, they would also send each other messages, but they made sure to encrypt them so deeply that most people assumed they were receiving spam mail from an _Icha Icha_ fan club.

Chouji swallowed the massive mouthful with a knowing grin. "You could take _me_ out on a nice date for once."

Despite his foul mood, Shikamaru smirked at his friend. "You gold digger," he accused, not unkindly. "You only like me for my money."

"No," Chouji insisted, shaking his head vigorously to play along. "You know I've always loved you."

"Did I come at a bad time?" asked a voice, causing both young men to freeze and turn slowly to face the newcomer. There stood Ino with her perfect hair, arched eyebrows, and hands on her hips. "I'd hate to interrupt, but I wasn't informed I'd be third-wheeling today."

"Hi, Ino," greeted Chouji, his cheeks growing pink at her witness to their exchange. Shikamaru merely grunted to her, leaning back into his seat with a glower.

Ino sat down next to Shikamaru and grinned, clearly happier to see her friends and teammates than vice versa. "_I knew it_."

"Bull," Shikamaru muttered, reaching to pour sake into a fresh sakazuki for her before topping off his own. "There's no way."

Shooting a rigid glare to the young man, she declared resolutely, "Yes, there is. You two are clearly meant for each other, especially after all those times you tag-teamed to give me crap about…everything."

"Bull," Chouji echoed.

After taking a moment to nurse his sake, Shikamaru elaborated, "We gave you crap because you're fun to give crap to. Everyone knows it—that's why everyone gives you crap."

Ino rolled her eyes. "I refuse to take crap from you about my taking crap from you. It's too absurd, and I won't stand for it."

"Good thing you're sitting down," Shikamaru muttered, though apparently not as discreetly as he intended, since his jibe was soon followed by Ino smacking the back of his head. "Woman!"

With the act of violence once more putting her in a good mood, Ino smiled sweetly and clapped her hands together. "So what's for lunch?"

In spite of the potential brain damage to his best friend, Chouji grinned fondly at his two friends. It was wonderful for him to see the team back to their regular shenanigans—all of them gathered over food, Shikamaru and Ino bickering, and lots and lots of barbecued meat. He happily proceeded to stuff his mouth with aforementioned barbecued meat.

"Mrit'sh fgoud shtro vbree vbrah ftugezzar," he said contentedly to no one in particular.

"…what?"

After a laborious gulp, he repeated, "It's good to be back together. Like old times."

Shikamaru and Ino smiled quietly, the former propping a cigarette between his lips while the latter fiddled with her long, blonde bangs.

"So what were you two talking about?" asked the kunoichi, finally breaking their brief pause as she started plucking meat off the grill to drop onto her own plate. "Y'know, besides your declarations of love for each other and whatever."

Chouji perked at the change of topic. "Shikamaru was telling me how he won the lott—"

"Ouch!" Ino interrupted, hitting Shikamaru across the head again. "What the hell was that for?"

"Sorry," muttered the pony-tailed culprit as he rubbed the once again sore spot on his head. "I thought that was Chouji's leg."

"Jeez, that was one hell of a distraction." At Shikamaru's slight pout, Ino exclaimed, "Oh, come on! You think it wasn't obvious? I _am _a mind jutsu specialist after all—mind games are my territory. You should know that, dummy."

Shikamaru simply shrugged and took a drag from his cigarette. He knew she would easily catch on, but it was too troublesome to come up with a real plan on the spot like that. Besides, if she had any sense at all, she could probably figure it ou—

"So what did Shikamaru win?"

"I stand corrected," he mumbled before clearing his throat, letting Chouji know that he would take over speaking to hopefully do some damage control. "The lottery. I won the lottery."

Ino's jaw dropped, along with a piece of meat from her chopsticks. "You're kidding."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You're starting to sound like Chouji."

He knew she was well and truly shocked when she completely ignored the comparison (normally, she would recoil at any similarities drawn between either of her teammates and herself) in favor of repeating, "You're _kidding_."

"Sure."

"Oh. My. Kami-sama."

Shikamaru's scowl had grown so deep that some irrational part of his brain worried that it might become a permanent feature on his face. The much larger rational part of his brain quickly quashed that notion, allowing him to say, "It's not that big a deal."

"_Not that big a deal_?!" Shikamaru winced at the shrillness in her voice, thanking the powers that be that Temari never screeched like either Ino or his mother. "What, was the pot only like a million ryo this time?"

He shrugged, glaring accusingly at Chouji. In turn, his best friend looked sincerely apologetic, though at the same time amused at Ino's persistence.

Speaking of which, the blonde pressed on, "Come _on_—tell me how much was in the jackpot!"

"Five hundred million," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. Chouji's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets—he was so shocked. Shikamaru had not yet gotten the chance to reveal the actual amount before Ino had joined them.

The kunoichi, however, had not yet heard. "What was that?"

"_Five hundred million ryo_!" Shikamaru repeated, this time hissing loudly as he leaned forward and held his head in his hands in distress.

Ino's jaw could not drop any lower. "Shikamaru…shouldn't you be…happy? I mean, you're basically as rich as the daimyo."

His eyes darted up, peering between his splayed fingers to gaze miserably at his friends and former teammates. "Ino, you don't get how troublesome this is going to be. If—and _when_, now that you know—people find out, everyone's going to be going, 'Shikamaru this' and 'Shikamaru that,' and no one is ever going to leave me be and let me nap. And everyone's going to stick me with the restaurant and bar bills."

She huffed at the slight jab pointed at her. "You're such a pessimist. Why can't you just be happy with your good fortune? Most people would be ecstatic. I know I would be, and probably Chouji, too."

Chouji nodded his agreement. "Yeah, Shikamaru. Look on the bright side—it's basically all-you-can-eat barbecue all the time now!"

"Or limitless days at the spa and bathhouse!" Ino added with a wink. "Maybe you can finally take Temari somewhere nice."

"Why do you all keep saying that?! I take her nice places."

Ino scoffed, sharing a knowing look with Chouji. "Please. If you wore your vest on the date, you didn't go to a nice place. Even Chouji knows that!"

Nodding, the larger shinobi added, "Karui and I take turns picking places to eat; that way we aren't always at places that have 'all-you-can-eat' in the name."

"And," interjected Ino, "whenever Sai takes me out, I'm wearing something classier than my combat gear."

"That sounds troublesome. And exhausting. Besides, Temari doesn't need the fancy clothes and fancy foods."

"That's not the point!" Ino whined. "The point is that you can now afford to go that extra mile and make your lady love happy."

"Not that she isn't happy already," Chouji cut in with an apologetic smile. Sometimes Ino really had no tact.

"Thanks, man," said Shikamaru. "But she's not even here, so this whole conversation is moot."

"Moot shmoot," responded the blonde woman with a wave of her hands. "I still don't get why you're so upset about _winning the lottery_. With that kind of money, you probably could get away without working another day in your life."

"Tempting, but it'd be more work to let people know why I'm not working. And then they'd get all fake and clingy and ask for money all the damn time. I'm telling you, the whole situation is just going to be too troublesome."

"If five hundred million ryo can't make you happy, then nothing will," Ino declared flatly, crossing her arms.

Shikamaru grinned slyly. "After all these years, you finally get it. Nothing makes me happier than nothing at all. OW—dammit, woman, I'm probably concussed now!"

* * *

><p>As he had predicted, Shikamaru had been stuck with the restaurant bill. Granted, it was indeed his turn to pay for their get-together, but he ignored that fact in favor of the uncanny coincidence with his recent (mis)fortune.<p>

After saying goodbye to his old teammates, the young man trudged down the road, kicking at the occasional pebble while taking the infrequent stop to watch the clouds. It had been some time since he just laid back and looked at the sky—he was long overdue for a serious cloud-watching session. Between the war, his Academy duties, and generally being the smartest person in Konoha (besides maybe his father), Shikamaru was not left with a lot of free time to himself.

Sighing, he leapt to the top of the nearest building, dashing across the skyline of Konohagakure before stopping at his favorite rooftop terrace. Yawning freely, he gingerly reclined on a bench, folding his hands behind his head as he gazed upward into the clear, blue expanse of the sky peppered by small white clouds floating gently with the wind.

"This is the life," he sighed to himself, completely content with the view and the solitude. The world seemed to slow around him, each moment feeling longer. He blinked lazily until eventually he fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Shikamaru-sensei," trilled a voice, effectively shaking the shinobi from his slumber. He opened his eyes slowly, noting sadly that he had missed the sunset.<p>

"Damn," he murmured, sitting up to face the owner of the voice—a budding kunoichi named Hibari whom he vaguely remembered from the Academy. She made genin before Shikamaru had truly gotten to know her, but he still managed to recognize her from some shuriken lessons he had helped teach back in the day. "Hello, Hibari."

"Hi, Shikamaru-sensei," she repeated sweetly. "How are you doing this fine evening?"

He rolled his eyes, immediately catching on to what she was doing—or rather, trying to do. "Who told you?"

"Told me what?"

Never one to mince his words, Shikamaru sighed, "Hibari, don't play dumb. Frankly, it's a stupid strategy."

Dropping the act, the young girl nonetheless grinned at her former instructor (if only for a brief time), posturing with her hands on her hips. "You're pretty sharp, for an old guy." Either she did not notice Shikamaru balking at being called 'old' or she flat out ignored it, but Hibari proceeded to answer his initial question. "I heard Yamanaka-san talking to Iruka-sensei about it."

The Nara heir cursed inwardly. If Ino had already gotten around to telling Iruka about the lottery, that meant she had definitely told their entire Academy class, along with Gai's team, her parents, the staff of the Konoha Hospital, anyone who walked into the Yamanaka Flower Shop—anyone she encountered, really.

"Idiot," he growled, realizing that he forgot to swear Ino to secrecy. "This'll be the death of me."

"Well, seeing as how you're now in a bad mood, I'm going to get on my merry way," Hibari said, apparently giving up on squeezing any money out of the jonin. "Sorry for the inconvenience, Shikamaru-_sensei_."

The honorific had been mollifying the first time she used it, but he could tell she was now mocking him with the title. "Yeah, yeah," he waved her off with a sigh. At her retreating form, he mumbled, "Kids and their utter lack of respect these days."

Upon realizing how much he sounded like his father, Shikamaru groaned. He muttered 'troublesome' under his breath, stood up, and made his way to the edge of the roof, lighting a cigarette before jumping off into the cool air of the night.

"Yo, Shikamaru!" called out a gruff voice when the Nara landed neatly on the street.

"Hi, Kiba," Shikamaru reciprocated with a friendly nod. "Akamaru," he added after a moment's pause.

The large nin-dog barked his greeting to the jounin.

"Long time no see! We should grab drinks sometime."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed instantly, suspicion rising in his gut. "Sure," he agreed nonetheless—he and Kiba were friends, after all. "Sometime."

"How about now? Are you busy?"

"Ino told you?"

Kiba shrugged with an unapologetic grin. "Chouji, actually, but only because I'd already heard it from Hinata, who heard it from Ino, and I wanted to confirm."

"Useless idiots." Shikamaru pressed his hand to his forehead, inwardly cursing the impending headache that was his newfound wealth.

"_One_ drink, Kiba," he assented, partly because it would be too troublesome to argue against it since he really had nothing pressing at hand, and the other part because he hoped alcohol would assuage his irritation with his present ordeal.

The Inuzuka sent a triumphant fist into the air, shooting a fanged grin at Akamaru. "Drinks on you!" he declared.

Shikamaru grumbled, "That's not for you to decide." Kiba did not seem to hear, bounding away from his comrade toward the nearest bar. Even so, the long-haired shinobi followed his friend down the street and into the bar…

…where he was greeted by pretty much the entire population of the Hidden Leaf.

"Kiba, you bastard," Shikamaru growled (not unlike Kiba himself) at his former classmate, who was currently pulling himself on top of a table.

Ignoring his friend's brimming irritation, the Inuzuka cupped his hands around his mouth to howl victoriously to the cheering crowd, "DRINKS ON SHIKAMARU!"

Before he was engulfed by the shouting (and probably already drunk) masses, Shikamaru vowed darkly, "I'm going to kill you." The threat went unheard; Kiba was already accepting a tankard of something and chugging it heartily, while the drunken patrons of the bar favored the notion of free alcohol over that of imminent death.

As he was being pushed toward the bar's counter—no doubt to coerce him into opening a tab indefinitely—Shikamaru's eyes darted back and forth in the hopes of finding an escape. The ceiling? No, he had too much weight by way of inebriated shinobi clinging to him. The window? No, too many inebriated shinobi on the way to it. The front door? No, an increasingly inebriated Kiba was on the way there, and even if he avoided the Inuzuka, the damage sure to be incurred on the establishment would not be worth it.

Having run through about seventy scenarios, none of which resulted in his escape, Shikamaru vaguely wondered if there was a way to de-inebriate the shinobi surrounding him. He made a mental note to ask Sakura about it later.

'_Maybe I could lock myself in the bathroom and hope no one notices_,' he thought, ducking away from the enthusiastic embrace of another drunk ninja. Surreptitiously glancing around at all of his companions, Shikamaru decided that might be the best course of action. He dodged another hammered acquaintance to begin the long trek to the bathroom.

At least, he tried before he was greeted by two familiar kunoichi.

"Oi, just where do ya think you're going, buster?" Sakura slurred, her arm draped around Ino's shoulders. It looked like their mutual support was all that was keeping them upright. This probably was not a good time to ask her about his de-inebriation theory.

"YEAH. You haven't bought us drinks yet, maaaan," drawled Ino, who poked him in the chest.

Shikamaru resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. If there was anything more troublesome than Ino, _drunk Ino_ would definitely take the cake.

"I have to answer the call of nature."

"EW," Sakura all but screeched, for whatever reason trying to climb on top of her best friend. Ino somehow was not at all chagrined, instead compliantly repositioning herself so that Sakura could perch precariously on her shoulders.

"Way too much information, Shika," agreed the blonde, who suddenly realized that there was a grown woman straddling her neck and shoved her off.

"PIG!" An angry Sakura kicked at Ino's already wobbly legs, bringing her down to join her on the ground.

"FOREHEAD!"

Shikamaru stepped over the brawling women and made his way to the restroom. Locking the door behind him, he noted the small window in the far upper corner. '_Escape!_'

His torso was just through the opening when he felt something clamp around each of his legs and tug him back into the bathroom. "Damn it, no! Let go of me!" Shikamaru protested, kicking at his assailants.

Izumo and Kotetsu grinned merrily at him, oblivious to their role in dooming him to his fate.

"We haven't drunk with you to celebrate yet!" insisted Kotetsu.

Nodding vigorously in agreement, Izumo added, "We just want you to buy us drinks so we can congratulate you!'

"Damn freeloaders." Shikamaru gave one last definitive kick to each of his Niju Shotai comrades, effectively loosening their grip on him as he launched himself through the window and into the night.

He kept to the shadows this time, hoping to avoid any and all encounters with his suddenly greedy peers. It was troublesome, but certainly less so than braving the open street and running into anyone he knew.

Hearing voices behind him, Shikamaru leapt into the nearest tree, crouching amidst the leaves to minimize his visual presence. Peering through the branches, he saw a rather battered-looking Tenten and Neji hauling an unconscious Lee down the street.

"He overdid it again," complained the weapons mistress as she shifted the position of her teammate's arm across her shoulders. "I thought you were watching him this time."

The Hyuuga shot Tenten a chilling glare that would make any child cry for its mother. "I watched him last time. And the time before that. There are better uses for the Byakugan, you know."

"Byakugan, shmyakugan." Evidently, Tenten was not quite sober either. "We all know you use it to look my panties."

"Never. Too much risk to see Lee or Gai-sensei on accident." The pair shared in a simultaneous shudder.

'_Jeez, did the whole damn village get drunk_? _Konoha _would _be a village of cheapskates_. _Figures_.'

Despite his irritated train of thought, Shikamaru kept silent until the trio rounded the corner up ahead. After waiting a few moments to confirm their departure, he slid down the tree and onto the ground, immediately breaking into a mad dash in the direction of his home.

That is, until his trajectory was blocked by a horde of Narutos.

"Son of a—" he managed to shout before inadvertently barreling into three shadow clones that dissipated into smoke. Shikamaru tried to use the haze to disappear once more into the shadows, but he was instantly thwarted by the twenty clones that dogpiled him. "Damn it, Naruto!" he cursed from the bottom of the heap.

"What's that, Shikamaru?" the real Naruto asked facetiously, stepping out from his hiding spot. He cupped his ear and pointed it toward the pile. "How many bowls of ramen are you getting me for your freedom?"

Shikamaru cursed again, at Naruto, at Kiba, at the whole village, at the lottery, at the small yet jagged rock digging uncomfortably into his side—basically everything that came to mind.

The blonde shinobi, however, merely picked at his fingernails, feigning boredom. "That didn't really sound like a number."

Shikamaru scowled deeply, though it went unseen due to the layers and layers of Naruto atop him. For all his knuckleheaded antics, Naruto was actual far more clever and devious than most people gave him credit for. After all, that's how he became Konoha's Number One Prankster and managed to evade seasoned ninja (for the most part) before even making genin. Having been the butt of many of Naruto's shenanigans—unsurprisingly, his frequent naps at the Academy left him very open for attack—Shikamaru knew his friend's mischief a little too well.

"Five!"

As several of the clones gave way to smoke, Naruto's broad grin was met with Shikamaru's thin-lipped glower.

"Seven, and you've got a deal." At his friend's terse nod, Naruto made a hand sign to dispel the rest of his clones and offered a hand to help Shikamaru to his feet. He accepted, though not without a short glare at his friend.

Sighing, he fell into a slow trudge beside his friend's bound. He stuck his hands deep into his pants pockets and decided that seven bowls of ramen at Ichiraku were definitely better than who-knows-how-many drinks at the bar. Certainly less troublesome than fighting off twenty shadow clones at the very least.

Except he should have known better than to think that seven bowls actually meant seven bowls when it came to Naruto's ramen consumption.

It wasn't until Naruto finally satiated his hunger with the twelfth bowl that Shikamaru could at last ask for the check without protests from the blonde ninja.

"You know, I don't actually have the lottery money yet. I haven't gotten around to claiming the prize money," he pointed out as he laid a few bills on the counter for Teuchi. After a stern look from the self-proclaimed future Hokage, Shikamaru begrudgingly threw some coins onto the counter for Ayame's tip.

Lightening his expression, Naruto waved farewell to the Ichiraku owner and said, "You'll be loaded soon enough. Man, the things I could do with that money."

"Please," scoffed Shikamaru as he accompanied Naruto into the street. It was getting late, so he figured he was safe from the drunk and greedy hordes known as the Hidden Leaf shinobi. "You'd just eat even more ramen than usual. You have no imagination."

"I do, _too_," insisted the blonde with a slight pout. "Why? What are _you _going to do with the money?"

"Save it, probably. For a rainy day."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "And you accuse me of having no imagination."

Shikamaru smirked. "Hey, it's not mutually exclusive. We're both allowed to have no imagination."

The jinchuuriki grinned, knowing his friend's claim to no imagination to be utterly false. But whatever, he could humor the guy. "I guess it'd have to be a pretty rainy day then."

"Typhoon levels. Lightning and flash floods and everything."

"SHIKAMARU!"

Despite his default reaction to hide when hearing his name screamed like that, the jounin froze at the voice's utter rage. Turning his head slowly to look over his shoulder, his dark eyes widened at the sight of Konoha's very own Godaime Hokage bounding toward him with chakra-charged fists. A quick glance to the side revealed that Naruto had long since made himself scarce, no doubt all too familiar with Tsunade's sake-induced rage.

"Uh, Hokage-sama," he tried to reason, ducking under her punch. When her fist collided with (and subsequently shattered) a tree, he decided reasoning was probably the poorer course of action.

"How the helldid you win the lottery? I've been gambling for _decades_, and now some damn greenhorn comes by and wins the jackpot?"

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched at the revelation. "You're insane."

His eyebrow twitched again at the collective scream of the bar crowd, apparently ending their night and headed in his direction. "Shit." Drunk as they were, they were still shinobi by profession, and they most certainly outnumbered him.

"Pay attention, boy!" roared Tsunade, drawing his focus back to her overpowered attacks.

'_Right, deal with the drunk Hokage first. Then deal with drunk EVERYONE IN KONOHA_.' Shikamaru tried not to let the panic overwhelm him as Tsunade aimed another punch at his face. Fortunately, she was drunk enough that her moves were mostly sloppy, and he managed to dodge the blow. Cornered between the hordes of ninja and one Hokage, he body flickered the hell out of there.

Fortunately for Shikamaru, everyone was drunk enough to not realize what had happened.

"Where'd you take him?!" Tsunade shouted, waving her chakra-powered fists at the bar crowd.

"What'd you do?!" Ino screamed back. And then she hiccupped.

With an obscene gesture, the Hokage challenged her entire shinobi force.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru shuddered at the explosions he heard in the distance, instantly grateful that he had successfully escaped the battle. Although he doubted anyone would stray from the fight, he took extra care to hide his chakra signature as he made one last mad dash to his home.<p>

He sighed in relief when he finally saw the Nara compound, forgoing the front door to simply climb in through his bedroom window.

The shinobi flicked on the light and groaned loudly at the sight.

Palm pressed to his forehead, he gritted through his teeth, "Get. Out."

Wearing nothing but a devious grin, Anko stretched lethargically across his bed and asked, "Are you sure?"

"YES!"

Although the smirk remained, Anko gathered her clothes, making a show of putting them on _very_ slowly. After her reverse strip tease, the tokubetsu jounin sauntered over to Shikamaru, thumbed his nose, and departed saying, "Maybe next time, kiddo."

Once she left, Shikamaru did a survey of his room, checking to see if anything was misplaced or if any traps had been set. Satisfied that no one else had tampered with his room, he strode over to his desk, where he had laid the two offensive slips of paper earlier that morning.

"Troublesome scraps," he murmured. His eyes widened as the realization dawned on him. '_I should have done this ages ago_.'

He picked up one of the papers and held it to his lighter.

* * *

><p>It was morning again, and the young Nara was noticeably much cheerier than he had been the day before. He ignored the numerous pointed looks he received from others as he walked through the halls of the Hokage Tower. There was a certain bounce to his step that no one had ever observed in his gait.<p>

It was unnatural, to say the least.

Shikamaru knocked on the door of the main office. Shizune opened the door, her eyes widening slightly in surprise to see him.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked warily.

Shikamaru shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm not here to get revenge or anything. That'd be too troublesome. But I just need a sec with the Hokage."

"I don't know…"

"It'll be only a minute, I swear." At Shikamaru's earnest expression, Shizune sighed and relented. It was the least she could do for him, given her mentor's behavior last night.

"Tsunade-sama," he greeted.

Clearly suffering a rather unpleasant hangover, the blonde woman hunched over her desk with her fingers at her temples. The curtains were drawn, and only one of the lights in the office was on. He noted that her knuckles were wrapped in gauze, no doubt the result of her drunken fight with the entire village.

"Make it quick, Nara."

Nodding, Shikamaru pulled a pouch out of his pocket and emptied the contents on the desk.

"What the hell is this?"

"It's the lottery ticket," he explained languidly, bringing up a hand behind his head. "It was too troublesome to deal with everyone wanting something, so I just burned it."

He could have sworn he saw a vein pop in the Hokage's temple.

"You…little…unappreciative…bastard."

Luckily for Shikamaru, Tsunade was too incapacitated to do anything more harmful than toss an inkpot at his head. However, Shizune knocked the pot from its trajectory and ushered the shinobi out of the office.

Apologizing profusely, she assured him, "She'll get over it once she's in a better mood." He saw the medic-nin wince at Tsunade's rampage before she promptly slammed the door shut.

Shikamaru shrugged and made his way home, but not before making a quick stop.

* * *

><p>Kurenai was surprised to see her lover's student on her doorstep, but she nonetheless greeted him with a smile and invited him in.<p>

"So Shikamaru, what brings you here? I heard you've been rather occupied lately."

Shikamaru scowled slightly at the comment. "Just checking in on you and the baby."

Kurenai smiled at the young man and ushered him over to see Mirai. The baby grinned at Shikamaru from the crib and reached up to him in greeting.

"I can just tell that she's her father's daughter," Kurenai said softly.

"Yup, no doubt about it," Shikamaru agreed with a fond look at the infant. "Definitely Asuma's kid."

"You know, you don't need to check in on us all the time." Kurenai picked up her daughter, bouncing the little girl on her hip. She directed a pointed look at her visitor. "I know it's troublesome for you."

He waved off her concern. "It's nothing, definitely not as troublesome as other things. Besides, I have something to give you."

Eyebrows arched in curiosity, Kurenai tilted her head to ask her unspoken question.

Shikamaru reached into his vest and withdrew an envelope. Wordlessly, he handed it to her, taking Mirai from her hands.

Furrowing her brows, the jounin opened the envelope only for her eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets. "I heard you won the lottery, but…wow." She looked up at him. "I can't accept this."

The Nara shrugged. "Well, I'm not taking it back."

"What about all the people bothering you for money?"

He shrugged again. "I threw them off track. They think I burned the ticket. It's less troublesome than explaining why I gave it all to you instead of sharing the wealth."

"You're a good person, Shikamaru. Asuma would be proud of you."

He offered a wilted smile, bouncing Mirai up and down. "Oh, before I forget," he interjected. "It's not the full five hundred million. Naruto managed to squeeze some ramen out of me before I could escape."

Kurenai laughed lightly, taking Mirai back into her arms. "Noted. I can't say that I'm complaining."

Shikamaru took his leave of his sensei's family, waving backwards as he stepped into the street. He smiled to himself, knowing that he could at last walk through Konoha with nary a care in the world. Now that Tsunade thought the ticket was gone forever, the entire village should believe by now that he was as un-wealthy as ever.

He was a free man.

"SHIKAMARU!" The aforementioned free man cringed at the sound of his teammate shouting his name.

"Dammit, woman, leave me alone!"

And thus, Shikamaru took off at a pace that would have made Lee proud.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> If you're at all curious, I used this page ( r/Naruto/comments/19x2i5/basic_economics_in_the_narutoverse/ ) and the value of lottery jackpots in the US to estimate what a jackpot might be in the Narutoverse. I also referenced the bounties from the arc with Hidan and Kakuzu to gauge what amount might be plausible.

I wrote the opening scene with Shikaku before remembering that he had died in the war. This was supposed to take place between Ch. 699 and 700 (hence the references to Chouji and Ino's respective relationships) and fit into the canon. Alas, I messed up, but it's too bothersome to change the whole scene, so there ya go: slight AU. And since Shikaku was back, I figured I'd bring Neji back too, because why not? Also, before anyone complains, Hibari is not an OC. She's a VERY minor character who was in Konohamaru's Academy class and had maybe one line in the whole series.

Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are much appreciated!


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